"Dis heres a kinda sad story. Dis albino gator (look more like a croc nowadays 'counta da double chins) turned mutant like everyting else out here. Ate all da fish, all da otha gators, started comin up out da water an eatin the folks livin' round dat part a da bayou. Put a whole lotta hurtin on a whole messa people, and den disappearred fo'while. We tink he musta got out inta da Gulf and come back all huge an fat. Prolly ate everyting out dere. No seafood fo nobody dis year, hah! Lurline plugged up her nose n dove in to take a gander, said hes right stuck. Can't go nowhere now. Da kids toss 'im bits a food but dont do much, just crumbs to him. He slowly starvin ta death. Ah tried ta put 'im out wit ma boomstick, but he's jis too damn big. Folk from all around here come to see 'im."
"Yesterday ah took ma ole polaroid camera out into da bayou, mosta da pitchers got left behind as I was runnin fo ma life, but I did go back fo dis one, an ah stink to high Heaven as proof."